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2011-04-17T17:37:00.001-04:00

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Step One

2009-03-27T11:01:00.000-04:00

I know it's cliche', but I can't get that quote, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" out of my head. The new blog has officially launched, and while it still needs a great deal of work, and I REALLY need to finish the website first and foremost, I must admit that its completion feels like that first "single step". I am nervous and excited and overwhelmed all at once and I just feel like this dream is beginning to take shape and become tangible.

I also want to, once again, take the opportunity to exclaim my gratitude to Jen & Gary Mobbs of Mobbs Photography (my awesome wedding photographers). Jen- without your help, I have NO IDEA how I would have figured all of this out! Thank you a million times over!

Check out the new blog here.

Alex is here!

2009-03-18T23:28:00.006-04:00

After having such fun at my first ever maternity session, I've been so looking forward to meeting Alex as he made his entrance into the world! While he arrived in early February, the activity in the DesRosiers' house has been a little hectic (duh!) and we finally were able to schedule a time to meet last Saturday. Alex wasn't feeling his best, but we had a great time nonetheless! One of the things that I really enjoy about photographing babies and kids is that they are just these perfect little metaphors of life- they change in an instant, from quiet to chaotic to bursting with joy...and just when it seems that the tears will never end, we are graced with a heart-stopping smile and the sadness and frustration just melt away.

I've almost learned how to use my slideshow software, so look for a slideshow soon!!

Until then, here are a few to tide you over...

Bailey says that SHE used to get that kind of attention!

In a Flash!

2009-03-15T10:07:00.002-04:00

As the school semester and my law school career begin to (thankfully!) draw to a close, I found myself thinking this morning about what I will take away from my experience even though I've decided not to pursue a career in the law. Aside from fluency in "legal-ese", I have been fortunate enough to make a few friends along the way. Different from the friends of your childhood or those go-to pals that can be counted on in thick & thin, good classmates are valuable in their own right. Sure, they can pass along notes for classes that you miss and can make great study partners, but more than anything, they remind you that you are all in this together, that your difficulty is shared, that you are not alone.

I didn't actually get to know Alison until this year, but her sense of humor and fun personality has already made school a more pleasant place! When she agreed to let me chase her German Short-haired Pointer puppy, Flash, around with my camera, I was really excited!

The late afternoon was mighty chilly, but as the sun began to drop, the light turned this amazing golden color and I just couldn't get enough of Flash in the tall grass!

Here are a few favorites...

With a Little Help From Our Friends...

2009-03-12T16:49:00.001-04:00

I have several other posts that I've started and not finished yet, but I wanted to get this one down "on paper" before my emotions began to fade...

This afternoon I met with local wedding photographer extraordinaire, Shane Snider, and he was really fantastic. Shane photographed the wedding of our good friends Jennie & Rebekah in November of 2007 (you may remember Jennie from our wedding photographs- she was our officiant!) and Jennie has been encouraging me to contact him. It took me a little while to find the courage...not every photographer I've approached has been exactly welcoming (which I suppose is understandable) and that pesky voice in the back of my head kept saying things like, "What if he takes one look at your work and tells you that you might want to go take the bar exam after all?" But contact him I did and he actually agreed to meet with me (thank you, Jennie!!)!

So, after three outfit changes (again! I've been changing clothes a lot this week, eh?) and armed with a box of cookies (are people allowed to be mean if you bring them cookies?), I left the house an hour before our scheduled meeting time (just in case!)...and arrived on his block with nearly forty minutes to spare. Yes, I'm a dork. So I sat in my car in a parking lot down the street and listened to the remainder of my book on tape (I told you- I'm a dork!), doing deep breathing and trying to figure out how to NOT seem totally intimidated.

I need not have worried. Shane was awesome. After the preliminary warnings of how tough an industry this is and some discussion about gear and must-have lenses, etc, he really helped me prioritize some of the steps I need to take and gave me some fantastic advice about finding my own style, consistency, and how to really get going. He even took some time to look at what I posted on my SmugMug page and gave some great constructive feedback.

I just walked out of his office this afternoon SO excited. It's photographers like him, like the Mobbs, like Meredith that help me combat thos voices in my head, that make me feel like I'm not completely insane to have chosen this path, and that I can, with a lot of hard work, make it.

Thanks, Shane!

Tots 2 Teens Seminar

2009-03-08T21:08:00.000-04:00

On Monday we had snow. Enough to close down all of the local public schools. Today it was over 80 degrees. Incredible! For the first time, it is beginning to feel like the end of school is really as near as it is and that the next stage of my life is really hovering just beneath the surface alongside the crocus flowers! Oh, the anticipation of Spring!

With my heart and eyes toward that future, I attended Sandy Puc's Tots 2 Teens Seminar today and was just blown away by the amount of information that she shared!

After three outfit changes (casual? trendy? business-y?) , I arrived at the seminar site thirty minutes before its scheduled start time, repeating the mantra, "I am not intimidated, I am not intimidated, I am not intimidated..." over and over in my head. I was completely intimidated. I was totally convinced that everyone there would just take one look at me and know I was a big fat wanna-be with no skills. Fortunately, I remembered after a few minutes there, that no one was paying any attention to me- everyone was there to learn, just like me! So I drooled over the gorgeous and quirky Finao products and played with the Canon 5D Mark II for the first time (oh, how I adore thee!) before settling into my seat poised with paper and pen to absorb every last bit of information I could glean.

I have to make a confession. After searching the big ol' World Wide Web for seminars and workshops that I could both fit into my current school schedule AND afford right now and finding almost nothing under $250, I was a little skeptical of a 6 hour seminar that cost only $79. After being disappointed with a photography course at a local art center that I took last summer, I was worried that this would be another "you get what you pay for" kind of deal and I was fully prepared with low expectations. Lesson learned. I frantically scribbled over thirty pages of notes as I attempted to keep up with the marketing plans, the descriptions of tools and camera settings, and tricks for making children sit still for more than two seconds. While I am not sure that a full-time children's portrait studio is my goal, I learned SOOOO much that I can't wait to apply to my business and to my photography! I have a couple of children/family sessions lined up for this week (I'm on Spring Break- yay!!) and I can't wait to try out some of what I learned!

Risk

2009-03-02T07:57:00.003-05:00

"Text me when you get there! Please be careful- my life is in that car!" I yelled to Justin this morning as he walked up the hill to where his snow covered car was blowing out warm-up exhaust. He's off to orientation. Orientation at another hospital. The one where he will be picking up extra shifts. So that I can be a photographer instead of a lawyer. In the snow. In North Carolina. Where they don't salt the roads and no one knows how to drive in it.

I read a post recently on one of the many blogs that I obsessively follow that discussed holding on too tightly. I struggle with it every day. Maybe it's because I'm an oldest child. Maybe it's because I'm a girl. Maybe it's genetics. Maybe it's because I've had cancer more than once and know how quickly life can change. I hold on too tightly.

I have a funny risk tolerance. The notion has come up repeatedly lately as people respond to this career change I've decided on. You can tell the people with low risk tolerance immediately...when I mention that I'm shelving my legal career to pursue photography, they begin to blink quickly and insist that I HAVE to take the bar! Their discomfort is evident and I am often at a loss to convince them that I truly believe that it will all be okay, that they can't say anything that the voice of doubt in my head hasn't mentioned a thousand times a day.

My risk tolerance for most things is pretty high. I worked for years as a whitewater river guide, as a backpacking guide, and have done all of those "life to do list" things like sky-dived and bungee jumped and mountain biked in Moab. I quit school to "play outside" and moved on a whim whenever I got a craving for new geography. I met my husband when he and I were both jobless and hiking from Georgia to Maine, not sure exactly where we'd land when the hike was over! I like that kind of risk, it is what makes me feel like I am really living and not just "getting by." I recognize that, to great extent, it has been a privilege to be able to make these choices, and I will be the first to admit that not every risk I've taken has panned out as planned.

But over the last few years, there are areas of my life in which my tolerance for risk has diminished. While I'm still content to "jump out of a perfectly good airplane," watching my husband drive away on icy, unsalted, roads to a hospital an hour away makes my heart clench with fear. The safety and well-being of the ones I love is a risk that I'm no longer comfortable with.

So I will sit here and keep reminding myself that I can't hold on so tightly and wait for that phone to ring.

Cuppa's SmugMug page...

2009-02-27T12:08:00.006-05:00

So I have been attempting shoot like crazy lately so that I can work on slowly gaining the skills necessary to make this venture a success! That said, I am feeling the pressure to really start working on those Photoshop skills! Spring Break...I will hit it hard (right after I finish writing the paper that is due after the break and studying for the test that will be on the following Monday, THEN I will hit it hard! When is this school thing over again?).

Considering how stretched thin I am, I thought I would mention that Cuppa has a SmugMug page now! While it doesn't look the way it eventually will, it is where I am posting the work I am doing as I finish it. If you are interested in checking it out, click here.

The Singer Formerly Known As

2009-02-20T11:53:00.002-05:00

A logo is a business's calling card of sorts...it's supposed to be the symbol that conveys a sense of the business's personality and style. Mary Elisa, the brilliant friend who has been working so diligently on my color palette has also been working her tail off to create a logo for me. Can I tell you, she asked me for some feeling words that I wanted my business to evoke and then she came up with THIS! I think she dove right into my brain and articulated into my logo what I couldn't define in our conversation.

A HUGE shout out to Mary Elisa! I know we have some finishing touches to nail down, but here is the general concept...

Feedback is welcome!!

MaryCares is launched!

2009-02-18T20:58:00.006-05:00

We launched my Mom's new business, MaryCares! It is a petsitting business that I just know is going to be a HUGE success! If anyone was born to work with animals, it is my Mom! So if you know anyone in the Corpus Christi region of Texas who might be in need of trustworthy pet care, send them her way!

By the way...big shout out to Michael Cain for whipping up her logo like he was slicing cake!

Sweets for My Sweet

2009-02-14T05:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

I was writing in my journal this morning and thinking about what it means to love. I was thinking especially of what it has meant in my marriage, in my relationship with Justin these last years. My breath catches when I consider how truly and deeply privileged I am to have the heart of such a man.

Things have not always been pretty between us. Our relationship began as a long distance affair. While you can argue both the benefits and detriments of such an arrangement, we were eager to be in the same town and eventually just decided that it made more sense to move in together. Aside from the normal challenges of adjusting to cohabitation, very shortly after we moved in together, at the age of twenty-four, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Let me just tell you- THAT will throw a wrench in a new relationship! Between treatments and side-effects, we were still trying to figure out what we were to one another, whether this person was "the one," and how to face looming mortality in the midst of our immortal twenties. There were some ugly times in there. Times when we weren't the partner that the other needed, that we hurt or disappointed or failed one another. But we kept coming back to this underlying truth: we loved one another. Through thick and thin, the love was there, even while we were still learning how to do it well.

At our wedding, we chose to do several things that were meaningful to us. One of them was, while we wanted to include the traditional vows, we also wanted to make some promises that would be more applicable to daily living, to the partnership that over the 5+ years we've been together, we've nurtured into something miraculous. So we came up with seven promises that we felt would keep us both healthy, happy, and in love. They ranged from promising to remember who we are as individuals and to do the work required to maintain a good relationship with ourselves, to making quality time together a priority even when it may mean sacrificing other activities that are important to us, to demonstrating our love each day through touch and affection. Even just the simple act of deciding on each promise brought us closer. We work toward fulfilling those promises every single day.

We also chose our reading very carefully. While there are so many gorgeous bits of both poetry and prose floating in the world of love, we chose to read an excerpt from Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I know it's not sexy, but we wanted something real to us. Something that said we would make it, that we would survive the tough times. The excerpt was a story about a man who approached Covey after a conference where he'd spoken about being proactive. The man said that he believed what Covey had said, but that it just didn't apply to all situations, specifically his own- he and his wife just weren't in love anymore. They'd tried a few things, but the love just wasn't there. He was concerned for their children, but just didn't see a way to feel in love agin. Covey told the man to love his wife. The man argued that they weren't in love anymore. Covey again told him to love her. The man, frustrated, asks how you can love someone you don't love. And Covey replies that love is a verb, that love-the feeling- is a fruit of love, the verb. He says that love is something you do- it is the sacrifices you make, the giving of self- that love is a value that is actualized though loving actions. And if you can be proactive and love (the verb), then love (the feeling) can be recaptured. Again- I know it's not sexy, but both of us just connected to this concept of choice, of actions defining our love.

My husband loves me every single day. I feel it in the coffee he preps and sets the timer for so I have a warm cup waiting for me when I wake up. I feel it in his willingness to run out and start my car or scrape my windshield when it's freezing outside just to spare me the moment of discomfort. I feel it when he looks at me. I feel it when he patiently rolls over and goes back to sleep without complaint when my snooze alarm rings for the 11th time at 5am (every. single. day.). I feel it when he calls me on his way home from a 13 hour shift at the hospital to let me know he's on his way and to see if I need him to pick anything up along the way. I feel it when he sits me down and says- don't defer your dreams, Cindy, I will pick up extra shifts to make the bills- you go grab that camera of yours and seek this thing that calls you.

A Rose By Any Other...

2009-02-13T10:47:00.001-05:00

We have a name!!!!! Yay!!! Drum roll please...

Cuppa Photography

As in... a "cuppa" tea, or a "cuppa" joe, or "let's sit and have a cuppa and catch up on life." My hope is that it evokes the same kind of sense of warmth and comfort that we get from good friends, beloved childhood memories, and the kind of conversation that can only happen with a friend who sees your soul.

I bought a website template today, but am woefully short on images that are even passable...my goal is to launch by the end of March, so if you know someone who can use some photos, send them my way! I have a portfolio to build and skills to learn (that translates into...I'm cheap, so get me now at a big fat discount...as in I'm free...please please please let me take your picture!!!).

Have I mentioned that I have 3 months of school left...yeah, I keep forgetting too. So it's time to put down my excitement and pick up Real Estate Finance (and you wonder why I changed paths!).

Moving Forward

2009-02-05T10:27:00.001-05:00

So I have been overwhelmed with the ever growing list of things to decide, learn, organize, and do to move this photography decision forward. What do I call it? Everyone seems to use their names, but "Cindy Giovagnoli Photography"? (1) It doesn't have much of a ring to it, and (2) I have a sneaking suspicion that people would avoid calling because they didn't know how to pronounce it! So Justin and I have a new game that we have been playing all week. The rules mostly seem to consist of tacking the word "photography" onto everything in sight. "Spoon Photography?" No. "How 'bout 'Fork Photography'?" Nope. "Ooh! Ooh! What about 'Fork AND Spoon Photography'?" Seriously? Is this the best we can do?

That said, at least the general color scheme is relatively simple...I'm just going to carry over the colors I've been using for my organization business for the last several years: Carolina blue (a light blue for all who may be unaware of UNC's colors!) and a deep chocolate brown. I'm excited to play with some accent colors, though, and keep getting drawn back to red as my primary accent. I would use that blue for everything if I could (take my house as an example- my office is painted that color with white trim and espresso colored wood everywhere; my bedroom is all blue, brown, and white...I just LOVE LOVE LOVE those three colors together!!!). I have been working with my friend, Mary Elisa, a super talented artist who works with a large marketing firm in Chicago to come up with my palette and she has been just fantastic!

Now if only we could settle on a name...

A few cuties!

2009-02-02T23:47:00.008-05:00

Between school and life, I've fallen woefully behind on processing my personal photos...including our honeymoon! I was prompted to address at least a few a couple of weeks ago while beginning to put together a website for my Mom's new business, MaryCares petsitting. As I searched through my archives for fun images of furry friends, I realized that I took quite a few while Justin and I were in Charleston, SC in December for our honeymoon! Here's just a little sampling of the "critters"...I promise to fill in the blanks with the rest of our trip SOON!

We popped into the Imaging Arts Gallery and met this little princess sleeping on the job...

How can you not adore a rescued greyhound? We met these two in front of the old Customs House and (small world!) it turned out that they were from Chapel Hill!

The only time we actually left the peninsula of Charleston proper was to take a day trip out to Magnolia Plantation. When we arrived, we were met by these guys!

Seriously!

2009-01-30T10:10:00.000-05:00

Brace yourselves- there is big news coming! Are you ready?

I'm DOING IT!

That's right. After endless days and nights "bargaining" and what seems like a million and two conversations with Justin, the Mobbs, and my good friend, Meredith, I have officially decided NOT to sit for the bar exam after graduation and to pursue photography instead. Holy Crapp.

So amidst the screaming voices of self doubt and criticism raging in my head, there is this piece of my soul that sits quietly with her hands folded and smiles. She knew I'd get here someday.

A "Star" is born...

2009-01-26T05:15:00.000-05:00

...well, to ME anyway! Holy CRapp- I am sitting here just blown away!! Have you all heard of the uber-talented Jasmine Star? I have just a tiny bit of time, but can I just say this...

SHE DROPPED OUT OF LAW SCHOOL TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER!!!!!!!!!

How 'bout THAT for a sign?

I can't wait to start reading her blog and to find out a little more about her story...

The Stages of Grief?

2009-01-22T15:00:00.001-05:00

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote the book, "On Death and Dying." In it, she identified five stages that a dying patient experiences when informed of their terminal prognosis:

* Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
* Anger (why is this happening to me?)
* Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
* Depression (I don't care anymore)
* Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Lately I have felt as though I have been going through these stages as they apply to my career choice. While I would NEVER make light of the grief experienced by one diagnosed with a terminal illness or who recently lost a loved one, I do think that these emotional stages have been present in my day to day of late, albeit clearly to a lesser degree. My mental dialogue has followed a similar path several times a day of late...

First up is denial: "I can't pursue photography- I'm not a talented, artistic person, I don't know enough, and I am GETTING MY LAW DEGREE!!"

Next is anger: "I hate school. No I don't. Yes, I do. Well, too bad, this is the path YOU chose, Cindy, so now you are stuck with it AND the $100k it cost you! Oh, by the way, you are 30 years old- it's time to suck it up and get your act together!" (The more angry I get, the more I start addressing myself in the third person- yes, I know it's a problem)

Then comes bargaining: "Okay, I will practice law for five years, pay my loans down, and learn everything I can about photography, THEN I will leave the law behind and pursue this thing that awakens my soul." "Well...what if I practiced law part-time and did photography part-time? In a down economy, I'm sure that there are PLENTY of firms who would be happy to hire me on a part-time basis, right?" "No, no, no...practice for five years- you can do it, Cindy- be strong!"

And then I come to depression: "Don't be crazy...I have owned this camera for how many months? I'm not artistic...just face it, Cindy- you are stuck being a lawyer." (insert a big sigh)

The inevitable acceptance often appears as a bedfellow of the depression stage: "So that's that. The law it is."

My problem is that I never stay in depression or acceptance very long...I spend a gigantic amount of time and energy in bargaining. Justin bears my "bargaining" (as well as all the other stages!) like such a champ! He never fails to kiss me and tell me that he wants me to be happy- no matter what I decide to do with my life. (Which sends me right back to the bargaining table!)

I would venture to say that my "problem" is a true privilege- I am not deciding between food and rent here, but rather whether to choose one career path or another
while enjoying the support and encouragement of those that love me!

A Quick Peek

2009-01-20T18:01:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, I had an incredible opportunity to take some maternity photos for friends Tania & Justin. They are expecting their first, Alex, in mere weeks and generously welcomed me into their home to attempt to capture this most precious of times. Words cannot begin to express what an amazing time I had- it was just wonderful! From Tania and Justin's willingness to try anything to the little tiny clothes and shoes, to Bailey, their gorgeous, hilarious dog...I had SUCH a great time and can't wait to start our exciting project when Alex makes his debut!

I'm only about a third of the way through the editing process, but here are a just a few of my favorites thus far...keep an eye out for more soon!

1.20.09

2009-01-20T14:51:00.006-05:00

What a day!

I was awoken this morning by my adorable husband shaking me and saying, in a voice that allows me to imagine him as a little boy, "It's snowing!! Get up! Let's go look at it!" I love him. And snow. And the collective sigh of relief that comes with the thought, "Snow day." Sure enough, there was nearly an inch on the ground when I awoke and it kept gently falling until just after noon.

Of course, today is no ordinary snow day. Today's snow day allowed me to sit on the couch, snuggled warmly under my treasured hand-crocheted blanket, a huge pot of minestrone soup bubbling away on the stovetop, steaming cup of coffee in hand. Today's snow day allowed me to watch, without interruption, the forty-fourth peaceful passing of power from one leader to the next. To absorb a moment in history that I am sure to tell my grandchildren about. To listen to an articulation of change, sacrifice, and courage that resonated profoundly. To be inspired by my nation's leader for the first time in my life.

Today's snow day seemed to be an undeniable message from the universe: Stop. Look. Remember.

I love the snow.

Bells Are Ringing

2009-01-19T16:10:00.002-05:00

I made a passing reference a few posts ago to having photographed some weddings with my with my fabulous wedding photographers, Jen and Gary Mobbs and wanted to share with you what an AMAZING experience it was!! These two have just been so much more enthusiastic and encouraging than I would ever have thought possible! Truly incredible!

I have SOOOOO much to learn and SOOOOO much work to do to get my technical skills (among other things) where I'd like them to be, but Jen and Gary have just been incredible mentors to me and continue to be so patient and willing to answer the million and six questions I have every single time I talk to them. When, shortly before Justin and my wedding, they extended an invitation to shoot behind them at some upcoming weddings, I was just blown away- I mean, seriously, that kind of experience is NOT easy to come by!

At these weddings, it was so wonderful to see the real rapport that they have with their clients and to see what fun they have doing what they do. And they were phenomenal when it came to teaching me- the number of times one of them would say something like, "Ooh ooh! Get in there, Cindy- that would be such a great portfolio shot!" or "Don't worry about us, we can shoot around you- get this experience!" It was just so much more than I could ever have expected! Afterward, they sat down and went through every image that I shot and we talked about what I did right and where I needed to work on things- you can't PAY for this kind of one-on-one teaching (well, you can, but it sure doesn't come cheap!) and I just don't have the words to ever thank them enough for all that they are doing for me! Shout out to the Mobbs!

So on to the weddings!

Jennifer & Jason had a New Years Eve wedding bash in Maryland...it was so much fun! Their ceremony took place in a gorgeous church in Frederick followed by the reception at the amazing Ceresville Mansion. I just love the feeling of receptions in a big, old house like that...they just have SO much character!

Late into the evening, the New Year's Eve regalia came out, as did the guests wild side! So much fun...

Sarah & Ian got married January 3rd at the Wren Chapel on the campus of William & Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. It was the first time I'd been back to Williamsburg since my own wedding in November and it was admittedly a little nostalgic! Early in our wedding planning I'd actually investigated the Wren Chapel- it is just so beautiful in that spare, federal manner that I love so much about Williamsburg. Alas, a connection to the College is required to use the Chapel, but it was wonderful to see a ceremony take place there! Their reception was held at the William & Mary Alumni House- another stunning venue! Be patient with me, however, as the reception images will be coming soon...I'm still working on them!

Sarah got ready at her grandparents' house, so there was a ton of laughter and family and hairspray squeezed in together...I loved it!

I couldn't stop taking photos of the food....mmmmmm!!

Setting the...bar?

2009-01-18T13:38:00.000-05:00

So a curious thing has started happening over the past several months. It began in fits and starts when I began the process of looking for wedding photographers and was introduced to the wide fabulous world of photography blogs (you can follow people's lives and thoughts and see their images as they happen! Who knew?!?)! It started to get worse as I learned a little more here and there. When my friend, Meredith, began getting more serious about her photography (she did our amazing engagement photos!) she became my drug dealer- providing me with photography "crack" in every conversation.

This curious thing, this sense of coming alive whenever I learn some tidbit of information about photography, whenever I find a free moment to catch up on one of the various blogs I follow, to see what new and amazing images some talented person created, just seems to keep getting worse and worse. I'm going to be a lawyer. I have spent 3 (more, actually, but that is a "whole other" post!) years striving and working and sacrificing to attain this degree so that I can make the world a more just place-right? right? RIGHT? Surely I will like practice more than I like law school...surely! And I just have to find that type of law that doesn't feel completely out of line with those parts of me I treasure most...it's out there somewhere, right? I just have to find it...and stay focused...stay focused!!

Do I have to? Or

Too Much You Tube!

2009-01-18T05:25:00.000-05:00

Justin forwarded this to me recently...just thought you might like a quick laugh!

The Heeden Family!

2009-01-17T05:32:00.024-05:00

I'm sure I've mentioned it several times in prior posts and you can be sure that I will repeat it often in the future, but Justin and I are deeply grateful for the truly exceptional group of people that we get to call our friends.

Among those amazing friends are Matt & Sarah Heeden and their two fabulous little boys, James & Andrew. Matt and Justin became fast friends in nursing school and James, who is a HUGE fan of all things UNC and/or sports related, just adores the ground that "Justin Gio" walks on. They are some of our very favorite people to have game night and take-out with and I always end up with sore abs from all of the laughing the day after one of our get togethers!

Being the amazing friends that they are, they've let me use their family as training subjects as I attempt to learn and practice photography. They've been patient as I bring my camera to every get together and chase their children around attempting to put into play some technique that I've read or recently heard about.

So here is a slice of what has been gleaned from a few of those occasions (beware- there are a LOT of photos here!)...

October 5, 2008 (the very first weekend I owned my camera!)...

November 22, 2008...the Saturday of the UNC/ NC State football game- Justin babysat Andrew and we all met up afterward for lunch!

No part of James is touching the ground!

December 14, 2008...James's 4th birthday party!

James's first bike!

Finley (the Golden) and Wrigley (the Lab) are the funniest dogs! Finley is extremely docile & sweet (which makes the following images hilarious!) and Wrigley is super playful- he can fit 3 tennis balls in his mouth at once!

I LOVE this!!

2009-01-16T16:03:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago, the fabulous photographers that we hired for our wedding, Jen & Gary Mobbs, invited me to come shoot some weddings with them (I will be posting about that soon!!). While enjoying a little downtime between weddings, we were playing around on the computer and they showed me this Dove commercial that I hadn't seen before. I realize that everyone else in the world seems to have seen it, but just in case you are as out of touch as I am, here it is...

Isn't it awesome!?! Between my burgeoning love affair with photoshop and my frustration about the unrealistic expectations that society has about beauty, this just hit all the right cords with me!

Rachel, Nicholas, Emma, & David...last one for now!

2009-01-16T12:26:00.009-05:00

After the first meeting with Rachel and her family was cut short by the rapidly setting sun, we scheduled a morning session the following week to shoot a few pictures for a holiday card.

Clearly I'm still learning and I shot these back in early November, but there were a few that I was pretty happy with! I am currently focused on learning all there is to learn about Photoshop and its many wonders, so please bear in mind that I've only adjusted some of the tonal inconsistencies and have not "processed" the images!

As always, feedback is VERY welcome!

SOOOO talented!!!

2009-01-15T12:48:00.006-05:00

So it's no secret that I've developed a full fledged obsession with photography. I follow several blogs, spend all of the time that I should be studying for my final semester of law school doing Photoshop lessons, and am constantly on the lookout for new and fabulous photographers to "stalk."

While her photography isn't new to me, my incredibly talented friend, Meredith, has recently launched her dog photography business, & Unlimited Dogs, and IT IS FABULOUS!!!

While pet photography seems so often to consist of perfect-seeming dogs sitting in seeming-perfect stillness like little statues, Meredith has such a knack for capturing the actual personalities of the animals she photographs! As all of us that own dogs (or are owned by dogs) know, each one has its own distinct personality complete with quirks and peccadilloes just like humans! We also know that our dogs truly are like our children and are as deeply loved as the other members of our family.

I can't urge you strongly enough to check out Meredith's work! You'd better believe that hiring her for a Pickle portrait session will be one of the very first things we do when we move to Portland next January!! Here's a shot Meredith took of her a year ago (oh yeah, we knew Meredith had what it took before she made it big!) when she was shooting Justin and my engagement photos...

Some Thoughts on Marriage...

2009-01-15T10:27:00.006-05:00

As everyone close to me already knows, I take the institution of marriage very seriously. I've known for a long time that the "piece of paper" was something that I needed to feel fully invested in a committed relationship. The act of declaring our promises and commitment to one another and our life together before our families and friends, as well as the legally binding nature of those promises, was the foundation upon which I wanted to build my family and partnership. This belief in the importance of marriage in a relationship and family and an understanding of how personal an issue it is, is one of the reasons that I continue to be outraged that the institution continues to be denied to same-sex couples in a nation which proclaims to separate church and state and in which I, in theory, am free to practice any religion (or none at all) as I see fit.

While I've been frustrated by the blatant discrimination and civil rights issues surrounding gay marriage for some time, several things have brought it to the forefront of my mind recently, though today I will restrain myself and discuss only one.

After Justin and I celebrated our wedding surrounded by our closest family and friends (the single most important day of my life thus far!), it turned out that the State of Virginia did not recognize our officiant as she lacked a "letter of good standing from her church." While an inconvenience, Justin and I decided to just go ahead and "make it official" at the magistrate's office in our local courthouse here in Durham, NC. So after getting a new license and paying our $20, we gathered two friends and sat in the waiting room of the magistrate's office for two hours while we waited for him to get through the room full of landlord-tenant dispute parties.

Once we were called into his office, we were met by an office so overrun by small claims paperwork that he finally had to ask a co-worker for a copy of the "vows." While he searched, he joked around and told us stories about how, every single week, he receives calls on Monday by people that he married on Friday asking how they could "undo" the marriage. Once he got a copy of the vows, he ran through them, everyone signed, and after a total of ten minutes (8 of which were spent looking for the vows), we were legally married.

There was no discussion of what marriage meant, how long we'd known each other, or whether we'd thought through what we were entering into. We paid our cash, had two witnesses, and were of age. That was it. Oh- and, of course, that we were of the "proper" genders.

Sanctity of marriage. What does that mean? While I will never argue that faith-based institutions should be forced to recognize any sort of human interaction, my expectations of the state are very different. I maintain that the process that Justin & I went through in that magistrate's office was purely a legal contract into which we entered in order to enjoy the legal rights that accompany marriage. There was no requirement that we say our vows before family, friends, or God. There was no requirement that we be responsible or caring human beings or partners. Only that we pay the cash, have two witnesses, be of age (a step that you can skip if you have parents willing to sign a slip of paper), and be of different genders. I assure you that I felt no "sanctity" due to what passed in that crowded office.

The entire experience brought to life what I already knew to be true: that those opposing gay marriage are not at all concerned about the actual sanctity of the institution of marriage (I certainly haven't heard any fuss made about the fact that two sixteen year-olds can marry or that the mental competency required to enter into marriage is less than that required to enter into any other contractual agreement), but rather have found a comfortable battle cry to justify the blatant discrimination and repression of the rights of a large and contributing section of our citizenry. It wasn't so long ago that abusers of religion justified slavery, Jim Crow, the subjugtion of women, marital rape, and a ban on interracial marriage by waving their bibles and citing the "unnatural" while conveniently neglecting all teachings of love, acceptance, tolerance and non-judgment.

I live in a nation founded on the principles of equality and justice. More than 200 years later, we are still struggling to live up to the ideals that our founding fathers intended (my belief, but as products of the Enlightenment Age, I think that you would be hard put to argue that they believed that religion should play a large role in policies of the state).

Okay...hopping off my soapbox now! I will leave you with one last image from our "day in court."

Addendum: After I posted this, I received a call that makes me feel compelled to comment. I do not associate religion with hate, nor am I anti- religious or anti-Christian. I truly believe that all people have the absolute right to their beliefs, whether those beliefs fit the tenets of modern religion or atheism or apathy. I also believe in, and deeply love, our Constitution and the rights that it asserts on behalf of the people of this nation. When I used the phrase "abusers of religion" I meant exactly that- I was referring to those people who choose to use their personal interpretation of God to subjugate those that do not fit within the realm of that interpretation. I know many people of great and powerful faith who choose love and tolerance rather than judgment and denial. And at the end of the day, I do not feel that legal and contractual rights should be denied to people to whom they would not otherwise be denied based solely on an outside moral judgment about the gender of the person that an individual chooses to love and share their life with. Is that a little clearer?

Pickle sends her best...

2008-12-23T08:00:00.002-05:00

Pickle requested, since her mama is so late getting her Christmas cards out this year, that I post our family card to the blog. We argued a bit over it...I didn't want to spoil the surprise for anyone still waiting to receive their card...but in the end, her desire to make known her Christmas tidings won out.

Merry Christmas from the Giovagnoli family!

Rehearsal-ing

2008-12-21T10:41:00.002-05:00

I'm just going to jump right in here...

Prior to the rehearsal, the plan was to move all of the supplies and the cake to the reception space, where I would assemble the cake and then we would rehearse and go to dinner. I love that, no matter my experience to the contrary, I always generally assume that things will go smoothly as planned. Ha! Please imagine four different friends and family members each holding a tier of the wedding cake in their arms standing around as we (Justin, actually) find someone to let us into the space that we'd been told would be unlocked for us. Imagine that one of those people is Mark, who had specifically and unequivocally requested to not have to do anything related to moving the cake...he was the guy holding the 16 inch bottom tier weighing 30 lbs with the terror transparent in his eyes. When the space was unlocked, we entered to find the gorgeous antique table on which the cake was to reside missing in action. We called our site coordinator who stated that in the five years she'd been working there, she'd never seen that table moved from its usual resting place. I will admit that I panicked just the slightest bit since we were already running late and I really, really, really didn't want to have to assemble the cake the morning of the wedding. We ended up assembling it on another table, leaving it to the caterers to move it to the proper table the following day.

The cake & rehearsal...

Our photographers came for the rehearsal to shoot a few photos and test out what it would be like to cope with the utter darkness that would be the scene for the wedding the following evening. We rehearsed for a whopping ten minutes and then headed to Shield's Tavern for the rehearsal dinner. It was wonderful, despite having to be divided into three tables. We actually were in a room with several other groups of people, one being a large family group. Justin and I chose to do our thank you toast to our parents regardless of the audience and for the rest of the evening the group would intermittently clang their glasses with their flatware, the universal signal for Justin and I to kiss. There was a couple in the group that had been married for over 50 years who congratulated us...it was such an honor!

The rehearsal dinner at Shield's Tavern...

We rang the evening in with a crowded open house of friends and extended family at our condo. In my heart of hearts, there is nothing that fills me with a deeper contentment than a house full of family and friends. Give me spilled drinks, half-eaten snack food left harry-tarry in the oddest nooks and crannies, and noisy rambunctiousness any day of the week...I LOVE having so many hearts and smiles under my roof (even if the roof is rented), eating, drinking, and being merry.

In that, my final night as CRapp, I went to bed with such a tremendous sense of belonging and a steadfast excitement to marry this exceptional man, I hardly have the words.

Wedding Week...

2008-12-20T17:30:00.008-05:00

I know that I've been terribly behind in my blogging and I'm so sorry! I initially began writing this gargantuan post attempting to fill in all of the details of the past weeks in perfect chronological order, but (thankfully!) thought better of it. So be prepared for the bits and pieces that are likely to pop up as I settle in for the remainder of my holiday respite from school...

Wedding Week

Can I tell you how excited I am to be married? The week of our wedding was incredible. As friends and family poured into Williamsburg from all over the country, Justin and I were just overwhelmed with how fortunate we are to be so undeniably loved by so many magnificent people.

My bridesmaid and best friend, Erin, and her husband, Mark, came in Tuesday from Florida and were just on top of it, no matter what "it" happened to be. Mark even sat on the couch tying little tiny brown ribbons to little tiny candles for the ceremony...100 of them!! Erin ran errands, stopped to pick up coffee, and stayed up late even when I wasn't sure what it was I meant to be accomplishing at the late hour! She and her brother, Mike, even stayed to help me put the layers of rolled fondant over the layers of wedding cake after I realized that I'd never actually fondanted a 16 x 4 inch tier before (I meant to practice that...oops!). Picture the four of us (Justin woke up to help us) covered head to toe in cocoa powder with arms under the fondant past our elbows trying to move it over the cake without tearing the fondant, hitting the cake, or in anyway misshaping what will be the base of the wedding cake...quite a sight to be sure!

It was also wonderful that, aside from the cake, just about everything was done by Wednesday. Wednesday evening actually ended up being this fantastic, laid back evening that is one of my best memories of the week! Justin's parents came in that day, and although his Dad was under the weather and stayed back to sleep, his Mom came over to our place and hung out. My longtime friend and bridesmaid, Kim, arrived with her daughter, Avery, and her brother and new sister-in-law, Brian and Seema. Our friends, Jennie & Rebekah also came by to spend some time...Jennie was our officiant and she couldn't have done a more perfect job! We lit a fire, cracked open a few beers, and just enjoyed being surrounded by the exceptional people that we are privileged to call our friends!

A little snapshot of Wednesday...

And Thursday...

Friday was "spa day" for the girls and "golf day" for the boys. The girls spent the morning sipping mimosas, eating breakfast pastry, and getting beautified, while the guys ended up having a perfect, albeit slightly chilly, day hitting the links. We (the girls!) had a gourmet lunch at the Williamsburg Winery before everyone headed back to get ready for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

Spa Day...

Ladies Who Lunch...

Keep an eye out for a post about the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner...an adventure it was!

Cut the Crapp...I got married!!!

2008-12-06T21:03:00.004-05:00

I have to keep this unfortunately brief, but know that I have an ENORMOUS amount of "stuff" that I can't wait to write about once this round of finals is behind me!

The wedding was amazing. Amazing. I don't have words that are even remotely sufficient to capture what a week it was... possibly the most incredible of my life. So much love. Amazing.

So before I get back to the books here, I thought I would share our photographers' AWESOME work. They captured the essence of the evening so well. Shout out to Mobbs Photography! They were fun, professional, and have been endlessly patient with my million and one questions about how to work my camera! I can't recommend them highly enough!

So here's the show!

Holy Cow...it's time!!!!

2008-11-24T03:53:00.002-05:00

I am going to keep this brief as it is very nearly 4am and I still have quite a bit to do before I get to sleep (I say this as though I believe I will sleep tonight...)

WE ARE GOING TO VIRGINIA IN 6 HOURS! I am getting married in 5 days!!

Between this moment and that one, I need to figure out how to get an ENORMOUS amount of "stuff" into Justin and my cars! Justin spent approximately 5 hours today trying to acquire and then assemble all of the correct pieces to move the Yakima rack from the roof of the old KIA (aka "The Roller Skate" who, after 200,000 miles and many a fond memory will soon be joining the ranks of NPR donations) onto the Mazda. I'm not sure that he actually finished, but between the dark (you should have seen how cute he was out there with his headlamp on) and the cold (hey- it got into the low 30s!), he bailed around 9pm.

I also need to finish a tax research project, at least start two separate tax finals (have I mentioned how much I love law school and how impeccable my choice of wedding date is in relation to final exams...), bake my wedding cake, assemble welcome gifts, meet with my vendors one final time, and remember that THIS is IT! This is the "stuff of life", those moments that you look back on for the rest of your days as "the good stuff." I searched for 30 years for the "right" guy (well, a good chunk of that time was spent finding the "right" ME, figuring out what I wanted in the "right" guy, and then recognizing that I found him once I had! But you get the picture...). My goal this week is, aside from doing what I can as far as getting my "to do" list taken care of, to be here in this moment, to be fully present and to STOP and recognize how fortunate I truly am. I have so much to be grateful for, this Thanksgiving even more than usual!

So just in case I don't find a moment to post in the next week or so, bear with my silence and I promise to make up for it over the Christmas holiday! In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

More Christmas card photos...

2008-11-18T09:42:00.015-05:00

After meeting with Barbara last week to take pictures for her Christmas cards, Rachel wanted a few more photos of her family! So we decided to go out to Barbara's farm, a gorgeous spread of land on the outskirts of Chapel Hill, and take them there.

As so often happens when anyone is attempting to organize an entire family, Rachel and the family were a few minutes late. It worked out well in that the very rainy and overcast day suddenly gave us an insane sunset at the last minute... unfortunately, we had all of ten minutes to take advantage of it before the light was gone! So we are going to meet one more time this week to see if we can't get some good, natural light pictures of everyone! I have so much to learn about photography!

The farm...

I liked the "vintage" look of the barn...

I just love this moss-covered log!

The wind chimes...

Emma & Nicholas

David & the kiddos

Rachel swinging Emma

And of course, the famous Penny Lane!

Rachel was babysitting her friend's two-year-old, Christina, who was just the cutest thing ever!

Christina couldn't stop watching everything Emma did!

The family...it's tough to get everyone smiling & looking at the same time!!

Study Break...

2008-11-13T03:34:00.008-05:00

I thought I'd take some silly pictures while I waited for my appellate brief to print...I'm tired!!

What did the world do before "Starby's"? My favorite vice!

So these are unfortunately soft...I have real issues getting my photos sharp! Suggestions, anyone? She's so much more patient with me in the middle of the night- I think she might assume that if she cooperates, we'll go to bed sooner!

I bought Justin's wedding gift on Monday! I'm dying to give it to him! Do you like my decorating? I love to pretend I don't have an ever-growing pile of work in front of me!

Have I mentioned that I'm having an illicit affair? It's only with my camera and I'm not sure that that counts, but Justin may beg to differ...

Christmas Cards...

2008-11-12T22:55:00.010-05:00

It's already time to start ordering Christmas cards, can you believe it?! I'm such a sucker for the holidays...I love everything about the season! Thanksgiving is my favorite, but I admit that I smile when I see the Christmas decorations out at Target already. I know that it's shameless commercialization, but it doesn't change the magic for me! I love it!

So when I asked my organization client, Barbara, the other day what sort of Christmas cards she was planning to send out this year, she wasn't sure. So we ended up deciding to take some pictures and see what we could come up with! This afternoon we hung out and grabbed some shots of her, her fabulous dog, Myra, and her daughter & grandson, Rachel & Nicholas. Nicholas was not at all excited about having his picture taken, but Myra was more than accommodating! Here are a few (please excuse the noise...I'm still learning you know!):

A moment of solitude...

2008-11-10T10:46:00.006-05:00

Amidst the craziness of weddings and school, I've found myself in desperate need of a moment to myself lately. The opportunity for one came up suddenly while running an errand Friday afternoon! I realized, as I was about to get back onto the highway to head home, that I was right next to the entrance to a great local park. Umstead Park has a plethora of fantastic trails as well as great picnic spots and I really loved the opportunity to get to know it better a few years ago when I ran the very well executed Umstead Trail Marathon.

So I decided to avail myself of the opportunity and eat my lunch at the park. I didn't have much time, but even those 10 minutes were sufficient to bring a sense of calm back into my heart. It's no secret that I love fall deeply and the light in the trees was just incredible. I'm so glad that fall has come to North Carolina!

Nearly speechless

2008-11-05T10:27:00.003-05:00

I sat down to write just now, feeling so emotional and charged after last night's victory and the most inspirational political speech of my lifetime, thinking that I would have so much to say. But I find myself at a loss for words. At least the right words.
For as long as I can remember, I had a certain amount of envy for our parents' generation. While, of course, always grateful for the opportunities that they opened up for us, there lacked in my own generation and time the same passion to make the world a better place and the sense of personal responsibility to do just that. Please don't mistake my words- there has been no shortage of social injustices worldwide and at home for my generation to fight, and I am always both so proud of and awed by those individuals who have taken their commitment to a cause so seriously. But the understanding that we must unite and cooperate to bring about real change, that, as a society, we must sacrifice some of our daily convenience for the benefit of all people- in that way, my generation has been different than our parents. We've fought injustice, but we've done it in a more fragmented way- we've fought it from various struggling non-profits, or from our boardrooms, or by seeking the educational opportunities that our parents' worked so hard to open to us. I am not underestimating any of those efforts or the changes that they have brought about- of course they have been both significant and meaningful.

But last night, I heard a speech that riveted me to my seat. I heard a true leader commit to bringing us together, not in fear, but in cooperation. I felt what I can only imagine our parents must have felt watching JFK 's inaugural address and MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech. That we must act. That we must make a difference. And we finally have the leadership to unite us with each other and with the world. For the first time since I was a little girl, I felt justified in my awe of the President of the United States (even if he is still "elect") and inspired by him in a way I have never known. I can only feel that, come January, we are entering a new era in American history...a better America than we've been for some time. I can't wait to get started!

If you missed last night's speech by Obama, click here to read the transcript or watch the video.

Wow.

2008-11-05T00:26:00.000-05:00

I have just three words tonight:

Yes. We. Can.

Another amazing story...

2008-11-04T14:01:00.003-05:00

I just can't get enough of the stories regarding first time voters in this election. As someone who couldn't wait for the first election after turning eighteen, I have been so frustrated over the years by those who take the privilege for granted.

One of my favorite programs on NPR is "The Story" with Dick Gordon. He interviews regular people with exceptional stories- of triumph, of failure, of surviving daily life- and he always asks then great questions and seems so genuinely interested in their tale. Yesterday, as part of an ongoing series about how politics is personal, he featured the story of Aredelia Edmondson. She is 95 years old, raised 13 children, and never voted prior to this election. Her story is compelling, to say the least...if you have a spare moment, I can't urge you strongly enough to listen to it here.

I will be waiting this evening with baited breath to see these election results come in. It's not everyday that you can look up and realize that you are, indeed, witnessing history being made. Amazing.

My Runaway Groom...

2008-11-03T15:24:00.004-05:00

Justin ran Raleigh's City of Oaks Half-Marathon yesterday and I thought I'd share a few of the highlights! He ran the full marathon last year and spoke highly of the course, albeit mentioning several times how hilly it was. This was his first half-marathon and he has proclaimed that it might be the ideal distance!

Being there as a "groupie" made me ache to be out there, too! I will heed my doctors' warnings, but I am thoroughly looking forward to my next long race!

Here are a few fun shots...

Packet pick-up

Only Justin is this happy to start running 13.1 miles!

The big finish...

Post race- no one will accuse him of not working hard!

An emotional vote...

2008-11-03T12:59:00.005-05:00

North Carolina has early voting, which I think is fabulous! Over the last couple of weeks, I've seen numerous "I Voted Today" stickers on folks at the grocery store, at school, and on most of my friends. In conversation after conversation, my friends have talked about feeling particularly emotional at the polls while casting their vote in this monumental election. I went on Friday, curious to see if I would feel the same.

I chose to make downtown Durham my polling place, since that was where I cast my primary vote. For those of you that are not familiar with Durham's demographics, it has a large and active African-American population. Most of the volunteers and voters at the downtown poll were part of this community. The line was relatively short- I would say I only waited 10 minutes or so- but as I approached the interior of the building, I kept hearing cheering. As I neared the entrance, I realized that the volunteer manning the machine accepting the ballots was asking each voter if it was their first time voting. If the person answered "yes", all of the volunteers would cheer loudly. As I stood in line in that building, several first time voters passed through with the accompanying cheers and I started to feel that well of emotion that my friends had talked about.

Then there were two first-timers in a row that sent me right over the edge. The first, a young African-American man, likely no more than 18 or 19 years old, who was dressed in a huge oversized puffy jacket, sagging pants, and a sideways baseball cap very proudly placed his ballot in the machine and swaggered out of the building. The very next voter was an elderly African-American man. He was small and hunched, and clearly wearing his very best. When asked if it was his first time voting, he slowly looked up at the volunteer, shakingly handed the ballot to him, and said in a whisper, "In all my 80-odd years, this is the first time I've ever been able to vote." I can't even write about it without choking up.

In my opinion, this epitomizes the miracle of the Obama campaign. Whether these individuals voted for him or not, the effort put forth by his campaign to make sure that people were registered and able to vote has been tremendous. He has made this election something that a young man, an old man, and myself have in common and asked us to consider how else we might be alike.

The right to vote has been so hard-earned by so many throughout history. Beginning with a small group of men in 1776 deciding that, although there was no other democracy in the world, no one should be governed without representation and power, through suffragists imprisoned and refusing food until women were enfranchised in 1920, to civil rights workers in the 60s threatened and harmed in order to make the Fifteenth Ammendment a reality for African Americans. Still, just over 50% of registered voters actually cast their vote. (For an interesting Wikepedia article on how we compare with other nations and reasons for low turnout, click here) Tomorrow is election day...PLEASE get out there and appreciate the gift and privilege that the right to vote really is!

A few places I've spotted a desire for change...

Our little Maine lobster!

2008-11-03T12:41:00.005-05:00

As many of you already know, Justin and I are moving to Portland, Maine after my graduation from law school. In honor of our excitement and impatience to move, Pickle's Halloween costume this year was a Maine Lobster!

Please understand that I am still new to photography and I've decided that Pickle is my training in capturing a quickly moving subject! She is tough!! As we walked her around the neighborhood, we were asked more than once is she had a crawfish on her back... apparently North Carolinians don't recognize a lobster when they see one!

So here is our baby as the mascot of our future home!

The image is a bit blurry, but check out that tongue!

My apologies for the less than dignified angle...but here is her lobster tail!

The lobster sleeps...

Our Last Planning Weekend!

2008-10-30T15:58:00.007-04:00

As I've mentioned before, Justin and I are getting married next month in Williamsburg, Virginia! Located about 3 1/2 hours from where we live in Durham, North Carolina, it has been both fun and challenging to plan a "destination" wedding. This weekend we traveled there for our final confirmation meetings with the site coordinator/ caterer and florist. My Mom was able to come in for a pre-wedding visit and joined us for the trip. Since she lives in Corpus Christi, Texas, it has been difficult for her to be as involved as we'd both like her to be in the preparations and planning, so it was such a treat to have her here!

I will go ahead and formally announce (though I have been saying it for months) that planning our wedding has definitely instilled in me a newfound appreciation for what goes into such an event. What I've realized, though, is that what has been most challenging (other than staying in budget) has not been things like the dress, venue, or menu. What has been toughest has been attempting to figure out how to keep it personal and reflective of not just our tastes or style, but of our values and the kind of marriage we want to have. I'm not someone who has been planning each detail of her dream wedding since she was six years old, but over the years I've definitely developed an idea of what I wanted. Melding this with Justin's ideas, with our current realities (budget, time, etc) and re-evaluating whether that idea I've held onto for eight years is even something I actually still want has been interesting. Who knew that planning my wedding would lead to new levels of self-discovery and growth?!

It's also been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. While Justin and I do our best to remember each day how privileged we are to be so loved and supported by our friends and family, like most people, we occasionally forget to be as grateful as we should be. The process of choosing the guest list was amazing...the list of people in our support community just grew and grew! How did we come to be surrounded by so many exceptional people? ! And as the RSVPs started coming in, we were so moved by how many people were willing to travel over a holiday weekend to be there on our behalf. "Humbling" is an understatement!

So as we enter this final month before the wedding and finals (who plans their wedding for the weekend before her finals start?!), bear with my sporadic postings! I will do my best to write as often as possible!

A Farewell Dance...

2008-10-23T18:51:00.006-04:00

I received some very sad news last night that has been on my mind and I think I should share. It's a reminder to me of how precious and vulnerable our lives and loves really are.

As you know, my friends Brian & Seema were married nine days ago in New Hampshire. Following the amazing weekend, Brian's grandparents, "Grandma & Grandpa D", were driving toward home after flying back to Michigan and were involved in an accident. Both of them suffered relatively minor injuries, although everyone was very concerned about Grandpa D's head injury, which required surgery. Grandma D had a broken ankle, but by the end of last weekend, it sounded like all would be well.

Unfortunately, as often happens as we grow older, a minor injury can become a major problem unexpectedly. Grandma D found herself suddenly short of breath after rising to use the restroom. Days, and several ups and downs later, she passed away Wednesday evening, surrounded by her family.

The image that I cannot get out of my head at the moment is Grandma & Grandpa D at the wedding. Brian and Seema chose to have a "generational dance" where all of the married couples at the reception came together on the dance floor. Every few moments, the DJ would say, "Would all of theose couples married less than 1 (5, 10, 15) year(s) please leave the floor." As the couples dropped off, it became clear that Grandma & Grandpa D were in it for the long haul. At the 50 year mark, there were only two couples left. At 53 years, the other couple dropped and Grandma & Grandpa were named the winners with 55 years of marriage. Afterward, Grandma D said to me in a mischevious whisper, "When it came down to just us & them...it was my cousin and I knew that I had her beat!"

55 years and still in love. Kim told me that, following the accident, both Grandma & Grandpa D said to her seperately that they each had the thought upon impact that their winning dance was their last together. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and the years feel like they are passing so much faster or because I'm getting married next month and can't begin to imagine losing this man that it took me my entire life to find, but my grief for Kim, Brian, Trudy, and especially Grandpa D is profound.

I'm convinced that the most difficult thing about growing older is the depth with which we are forced to recognize the transience, not only of our own existences, but of those that we love. I remember when I was younger feeling afraid and uncertain when I thought of my own death. Now, the fear grips hardest when I think of losing my Mom, or brother & sister, or Justin. When I think of how one errant driver or patch of black ice could make my world dark, it can be difficult to see any light. But I try to remember something that a friend said to me several years ago after I lost a good friend to breast cancer that brought me tremendous comfort. She said that our grief and pain are the reflections, the counterparts, to deep and abiding love, that in the mirror of our loss, we can see the depth of our love, and that love is the only method we have of measuring a life well-lived.

A full life is one where we love and are loved. It's cliche, but true nonetheless. I believe that my success in this life can be quantified only by how much I connect to others, whether they know how much I love them, and how deeply I allow that love to penetrate who I am.

I am so grateful for my community of friends and family. In the wake of my dear friends' loss, I feel compelled to remember how fragile our lives are and to make sure that those I love know it. To the family of Grandma D- I am so sorry for the loss that you've suffered and the grief that you feel, please know that my heart and prayers are with you.

Oh! The Colors!!

2008-10-15T16:16:00.012-04:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, Justin and I spent the weekend in New Hampshire for Brian and Seema's wedding. We could not have asked for more beautiful weather or a more fantastic time of year!

We flew into Manchester late Thursday night and spent the night with Justin's parents in his hometown of Hollis. We took a little time on Friday morning to enjoy the leaves and the vibrant fall produce. Hollis is famous for its apple orchards, so we stopped by Brookdale Farm's farmstand to pick up some local apples and homemade baked goods for the road. I couldn't stop taking pictures!!

Apple season begins in Hollis...

We arrived in Moultonborough around 4:30pm Friday afternoon with just enough time to re-unite with my friend and bridesmaid, Kim (Brian is her brother) before heading over to the Mehendi party. It had been seven years since Kim and I had last seen one another! She and her husband, Scott, along with their their fourteen month old daughter, Avery, live in Alaska, so it was quite a treat to see them!

How absolutely perfect is Avery!?!

On our way to the Mehendi party, this was our view...

The Mehendi party was incredible! This was my first Indian wedding and I am officially smitten with the traditions that accompany such an event! The color! The sparkle! Already my henna is fading and I'm just so sorry to see it go!

Vandana, Seema's sister, getting her henna...

Kim and my henna...

Neha starting Seema's elaborate bridal Henna...

Saturday was the rehearsal followed by the rehearsal dinner, which was open to everyone. It was our first opportunity to actually go up to Castle in The Clouds...what a view!! From the lawn on which the ceremony was to take place, you had a clear view of all of Lake Winnipesaukee and the surrounding mountains. It was truly breathtaking.

The trout pond at Castle in the Clouds...

Kim & I

Rehearsing

View from the lawn...

Justin & I stopped for ice cream...this is quintessential New England!

Brian knew that something embarrassing was coming up...he loves being the center of attention, can't you tell?

Sunday was the wedding. And may I just say what a wedding it was! If you have never attended an Indian wedding, you are missing out! To describe it as beautiful or colorful doesn't begin to do it justice...it was brilliant in every way! From Seema's traditional red sari to her elaborate henna to the amazing garlands to the shimmering jewelry worn by all of the Indian women in attendance...brilliant.

Seema's entrance...

The ceremony...

Married!!!

They busted out some moves on their first dance!

Check out how Seema shimmers!

Avery and Grandpa...

Kim & Scott at sunset...how gorgeous is Kim's sari?!

Neha dancing Indian-style...it was AWESOME!!

Clearly things got wilder as the night progressed...

Seema, sparkling like I've never seen!

Thank you, Brian and Seema, for sharing your day with us and allowing us to be a part of it!

Off to New Hampshire!

2008-10-09T16:42:00.004-04:00

Our friends, Brian and Seema, are getting married this weekend at A Castle in the Clouds in New Hampshire...we are so excited to get up to the NH mountains during leaf season!

As many of you know, Justin & I are getting married this November. Brian is brother to my bridesmaid and longtime friend, Kim! Brian and I got to know one another during preparations for Kim's wedding in June of 1999 and have remained friends through the years! I couldn't have been more excited when we met Seema for the first time...she's really fanstasic! Brilliant, funny, outgoing, and outdoorsy...she encompasses all of the things one would hope for in the partner of a friend.

Brian and Seema have been hiking the Appalachian Trail since February and completed the 2,000+ mile hike just a couple of weeks ago. The Trail is where they met for the first time when Brian was hiking in 2004, as well as where Justin and I met during our hikes in 2003! Looking for love? Try hiking!!

Keep an eye out for photos...I plan to put that spanky camera to good use!

Just the Facts...oh, and a sense of responsibility!

2008-10-09T14:46:00.006-04:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I adore FactCheck.org? Insert the collective groan of all of my friends who reply "everyday!"

After two presidential debates and a VP debate, I find myself ever more frustrated with "undecided" voters. Undecided or uninformed? There is a difference. I am, however, thrilled with the plethora of non-partisan websites available to help the average voter sift through the rhetoric and get down to some of the nitty-gritty. Click here, here, or here for some examples. Every individual is entitled to his views and values, it's one of the freedoms that makes our nation special, I only request that we educate ourselves on how things really work and what the whole story is before we determine that the party/ candidate we support is truly furthering our priorities.

That said, I am going to take advantage of this opportunity to jump up onto my well-worn soapbox for just a brief moment. I am unbelievably frustrated by the average American's sense of responsibility when it comes to our political processes. We are a democracy...in many ways! We vote with our ballots, with our wallets, and with our feet. We scream about diminished wages in our communities, but then shop at our new Wal-mart. We elect the politician that claims to be able to provide us with amenities without increasing our taxes and then call him a "dirty politician" when he fails to deliver the amenity without increasing taxes. When we require impossible promises in order to elect a candidate, impossible promises are what we will get. Remember that each candidate knows that he cannot effect any change if he does not achieve election into office, so he must prioritize winning the election first. We complain about the media, but which newspapers do you buy? Which programs do you watch? We want drama and we're willing to pay for it, so drama is what we get. Bill O'Reilly...really? Is that news? How does that man have his own show? Some population of individuals watches him...that's how!! We buy into campaign ads depicting this or that candidate as having voted down this or that bill, but fail to remember that oftentimes unrelated amendments are attached to those bills and are often the reason that the candidate voted one way or another on the bill. I could go on and on...

There is a huge amount of information available out there to help clarify the issues. Know where you stand, understand the process, and VOTE accordingly!!

Domestic Violence month as well!

2008-10-08T13:38:00.005-04:00

In addition to October being Vegetarian and Breast Cancer Awareness month, it is also Domestic Violence Awareness month.

Earlier today I was driving along, listening to NPR as usual, and they had a really compelling program on the show, The State of Things. It featured a local non-profit organization, Hidden Voices, and focused on their new performance, "Speaking Without Tongues." The performance demonstrates the terror and shame of violence against women and "is based on true stories gathered across the state from women who have been, or still are being, abused."

The show spoke with some of the women performing in the play, survivors themselves of domestic violence, and it was just a really riveting program. It served as such a reminder to me of how different each story is and how it's not only the poor or uneducated that find themselves victims. The discussion also reminded me that we all have such a duty to both serve as examples and to raise our children to understand that strong women capable of asserting themselves and their opinions are still feminine and that men who (as one of the show's guests eloquently articulated) are gentle are still strong and masculine. The guest pointed out that we deprive our boys and men of so much when we teach them that violence, harshness, and subjugation of others are the only ways to demonstrate strength and masculinity. Her words really resonated with me .

You can listen to the program here.

A Success!

2008-10-05T20:42:00.010-04:00

Our friends, Wendy and Adrian, got married last night! The wedding was at a local venue called "The Barn at Valhalla"...it was really gorgeous!! Wendy wore a J.Crew dress that she found for a steal on Craig's List and it was PERFECT!! She looked amazing. We had such a good time!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I made Wendy and Adrian's wedding cake. It was the first cake I've done for an actual wedding! All of my previous cakes were for birthdays or going away parties or simply practice cakes. Let me tell you- making someone's wedding cake is some serious pressure! While Wendy and Adrian are just about the most forgiving and low-maintenance people I know, the knowledge that this is their ONE big day meant that my perfectionist tendencies were in overdrive. So here's the full skinny...

Four tiers of carrot cake with cream cheese icing, all from scratch. I used Martha Stewart's Wedding Cakes for the carrot cake recipe (although I added chopped pecans and walnuts to mine) and The Barefoot Contessa for the icing recipe (it's the one for her coconut cupcakes- the hint of almond makes all the difference!).

I started baking Wednesday night. I continued into Thursday, when we ran into our first problem. Our dog, Pickle, has never (in almost 5 years!) ever eaten anything left on our kitchen table. As far as we know, she's never even tried. But Thursday morning I left some cake layers on the table to cool while I went to class and when I got home, one layer was gone completely and another had some bites taken out of it. Pickle not only looked slightly uncomfortable, but was actually 3 1/2 pounds heavier than normal! So Thursday evening, amidst Palin-Bingo and the VP debate, I finished baking all of the cake layers and started making icing.

Late afternoon on Friday I took all of the plastic-wrapped cake layers over to the venue along with the icing and all of the tools I thought I could possibly need. I've never driven so slowly on a highway or yelled so loudly at drivers who cut me off as I did in that 10 miles! But I arrived at the venue with cake intact and set to work...only to realize, after about four hours of icing, that I didn't have enough. So it was back to the grocery store and to my trusty Kitchenaid mixer to make more icing. And of course I made entirely too much in my desperation to not have to repeat the procedure, so my next post will just have to be "101 things to eat cream cheese icing on"! I (actually "we" would be the proper term since I dragged Justin with me each step of the way and required his DJ skills to keep the cake-making hopping) finally finished around 1:00am and put the nearly completed cake in the catering fridge.

Saturday was the wedding day!! After having a great lunch with my friend, Meredith, who was in town to photograph the wedding, we headed to the venue. While Meredith started taking photos, I made the dome of flowers for the cake topper. Around 4:00 we moved the cake from the fridge to the table- a task that took two strong guys as the cake weighed in at nearly 60 pounds!! Once there, I put the final touches in place and the task was done!

I am relieved to report that Wendy and Adrian were pleased with the final product and the cake was a hit with the guests...whew!! Here are a few photos...

October is also Vegetarian Month!

2008-10-02T16:07:00.002-04:00

As I'm sure all of you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, clearly a cause that is well deserving of our attention and action! As a cancer survivor, this is something near and dear to my heart! Get your mammograms and do your self-exams, ladies!

What you might not know, is that October is also Vegetarian Month! While I'm not a vegetarian, I agree that committing, at least for the month, to a lifestyle that is both healthy and humane is worth doing! For a great overview of the "hows" and "whys", click here.

My Mom became an ethical vegan several years ago and continues to be an inspiration! Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Mom!

Up to my ears in carrots!

2008-10-02T12:58:00.003-04:00

Our close friends, Wendy & Adrian, are getting married on Saturday (yay!) and, as their wedding gift, I am making their wedding cake. They requested carrot cake with cream cheese icing and I started the baking last night! Imagine15 pounds of carrots...

(Please remember that I am new to this whole photography thing, so forgive my imperfections!)

In love with my spanky new camera!

2008-10-01T07:52:00.000-04:00

Some people relate best to great sculpture. Or painting. Or theatre. For me, the art form that has always captured my imagination most is photography. I love the ability of talented photographers to capture a moment in time, be it the power of nature or the power of love. I'm irrevocably moved by the images of Ami Vitale and have become a renowned "blog-stalker" to the likes of Jules Bianchi and Emilie Sommer. Maybe it's that awareness of the fleeting nature of time that has become ever more pressing with each passing year or the commonality of the human experience that pervades every milestone moment, but the sense of connection that I experience when looking at images reaches me in a way that no other art form has ever done.

Never having considered myself "artistic," I have been intimidated for years at the idea of even attempting to create such art. But here I am, the proud new owner of a Canon 40D and two starter lenses! I am SO excited to begin the process of learning! Intimidated, but excited! I am not harboring any delusions of grandeur, I simply have a dream of more beautiful and poignant photographs of my friends and family. So here I go!